my cans

my cans
they are mine!

Saturday, May 1, 2010

broke. or am I?

Lets start something here. Who has had one of those poor me moments where you went around currying sympathy because you believed something to be true that wasn't.

I did this week.

As far as I knew I had less money than rent, which didn't even cover food.

So I was crying poor to everyone I knew and when I finally had the gumption to withdraw my rent from an atm, it gave me my receipt and I stood there for a full minute just reading my docket. It must be a mistake I thought. I had a balance that exceeded four digits in integer values (yes I was a thousandaire). Yes typical me, the moment I have money my first thought is far from woohoo I am rich. It is there MUST be something wrong. Money and I don't get along.

So I drove home, had a meager meal (as I thought it was a mistake you see, so I wasn't spending money that I didn't believe was mine), then went on the internet and checked my accounts online. It was no mistake. The money had been deposited by a rich benefactor (also known as a previous employer, who felt bad for mentally destroying me then firing me, so they aren't so bad after all).

So today I sat down and thought as a new thousandaire, how should I celebrate?

The obvious answer was to go to the local go karting track and go around in elaborate circles for a while. I thought that it would burn off the steam that had been brewing for weeks.

Boy was I wrong. For starters, any 15 year old who thinks that they are a gun in a car, should stop. SLAP themselves, then realise that no matter how good they are 5% of the population is better than them.

It is not cool to 'drift' in a go kart. All that does is make me slam on the brakes to avoid ramming their sides flipping their kart, and gives them the false sense of speed as they momentarily are faster than me.

Also they have a few simple rules. No bumping, no sliding, when the light is orange go slow (walking pace people), when the light is red, stop.

I was the only one who respected these rules, and eventually got sick of being over taken so was swerving all over the road when it was orange at the determined speed of slow. This was a big mistake. I was rammed from all sides by these 15 year olds, and on the other side of the track they kept crashing into the accident that caused the orange so they flashed a red. So I stopped. This was an even bigger mistake. Now I was rammed from the side by a bigger speed difference, and at one stage was somehow rammed from behind by someone who was going flat out with the light STILL red.

Moral of the story. Le Mans go karting in the dandenong region is bad stay away from it. Spend the extra money to go to the one in port Melbourne which will actually kill your engine if you fail to abide by the speed restriction under orange light. They also have a better track, better karts, better timekeeping, and they give $300 to the FASTEST lap time of the month.